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I have raised three kids. Two was with my ex husband and one with currently husband. They’re 26, 34, and 39.
My oldest child, Alex is somewhat of a black sheep of the family. Since he was shy of teen when I and his father went through a really bad divorce, it has a big impact on him. He no longer do well in school, start to push people around him away, getting in fight all of the time, and end up having no friends.
By the time he got in high school, he finally calmed down some and started to hang out with people from Bosnia. He was a senior and almost eighteen in 1993 the time Bosnia war happened, he end up leave the country to go to Bosnia to fight in the war. He was there until 1996. He came back to the country for a short time, but he wasn’t happy here so he travels the world and builds up moneys.
Now he’s living in Seattle, Washington and Croatia half of the time. He owns a couple businesses and properties.
My daughter who is the middle child was an honor roll student and nearly graduated at top of the class got into Stanford to study medical. She used to have a lot of problems with alcohol but she eventually recovered from it and now is a pediatric. She still has a lot of debts to pay off and is always working long hours. She says she almost regret it.
My youngest son was a pretty good kid and student. He graduated from college and is a manager for a concrete construction business. He keep say he doesn’t really enjoy his job and wish he’d have done more while he was younger.
My oldest son has always been a extremely lazy and unorganized person who would rather to gamble with his life doing dangerous things such as rock climbing, surfing, traveling by himself, and other things. He’s also known for making a incredible stupid decision such as running off to other country to fight in a war before he even finish high school, drop out of community college just two weeks before he was suppose to get a associate degree, and other things. He also doesn’t have a driving license at all, high school diploma, and barely work. Yet he seems to be doing extremely well in life, never complained, never worried about anything, and basically do pretty much anything he want to.
I don’t understand how could my oldest son have been one of the worst to do and made some of the most stupid decision as a child and never grow out of it but manage to come out on the top. I feel like I got everything backward.
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How Could My Oldest Son Be So Well To Do Despite Of His Past?
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It could be that your son has an alternate way of looking at life than you.
He probably defines success much differently than you do. For example, my mother thought it was extremely important for me to get a high-paying job and was extremely angry when I got engaged to my husband in high school. But I define success as having a husband who loves me and a job that I can enjoy (in this case, art). I don’t mind if I’m scraping by financially, so long as I’m happy in those two areas.
Ask your son about what makes him happy. He’ll likely give you a better answer than any of us ever could!
It’s all about choices. You oldest son chose not to let his past dictate how he feels and acts today. He is making wise choices. Maybe he made foolish choices in the past but he is obviously making better ones now.
Your daughter made wise choices yet isn’t content with what she has done with her life. She is choosing not to be happy.
Things just are what they are. Don’t try to figure it out. It just is. Accept each child as they are and don’t worry about why, what and if.