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my baby is very colickly, its been really diffcult to the extent that i passed out a few times from extreme exhuastion when i first had her (i also had a c-section and left the hospital the next day) as nobody was around to help me, my mom is a big shot pediatrician who’s terribly busy and my husband was having problems at work so i was kinda on my own but anyway i managed and i’m managing much better now and most nights i sooth her and we get to sleep for like 6 hrs which is fine by me. anyway i live in egypt, so healthcare is not really upto a great standard but all my family are doctors and my mom is my ped. her recommendation for my baby’s colic is drugs. wether colic drops, gripe water, i dont mind these as they are mostly safe but they dont work so she started advising me to give her antihestaminics to make her sleep. she even bought me one that contains a major tranquilizer. she says it’s perfectly alright and they do it all the time with very diffcult babies and she wont get used to it or anything she’ll outgrow it by the fourth months and i should help her to rest and rest myself. i’m totally against drugging my baby and i dont do it, i use soothing techniques and i try very very hard and she’s getting better. anyway, does this mean my mom is a bad doctor? should i not trust her anymore? its very diffcult for me as she’s one of the best and most famous ped. here and i cant go anywhere else cuz she is bound to find out and it would be disastrous between us and she’s the only one i have even though she’s very busy and doesnt really help so much but she’s the only one who is actually there apart from my husband ofcourse..and i dont wanna be judgmental but i think thats how she dealt with my crying and my lack of sleep when i was a baby so she insists i do the same..what should i do??
sadie, i don’t get what is odd in my profile..she did stay with me the first two weeks because i was very much in need of any help, she had the flue, was terribly busy, only saw her at night when she came to tidy up abit then sleep and she tried her best not to give the flu to my baby but it just happened so i dont really blame her for it she was only tryin to be there for me when there wasnt anyone else..also i didnt say i cant “ask” other doctors, i did ask a collegues of my mom in passing when they call to congratulate…but not “officially” asking…
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my mom who is also my pediatrician, wants me to drug my baby to sleep?
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Drug your kid…? You sure she isn’t a pedophile?
I think you should emmigrate far, far away from her.
ugh.. iffy situation. I dont think you should give her any medication that will induce sleep, that doesnt sound safe.. but why would your mom recommend something unsafe for her grandchild?? Id do some googling on what she wants you to give her… see what it says. I know antihistimines are given to babies at a young age mostly for allergies, but ones with major tranquilizers?? That doesnt make sense to me..
She will grow out of it soon, just hang in there! GL
You need to go with your gut instincts when it comes to your baby. If something doesn’t feel right to you, don’t do it. Your childs well being is your top priority. I’m sure your mother is a fine pediatrician and most of her advice should be fine, but if something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. If you do have a question or concern, you know you can always ask it here for advice as well.
This is your child and although your mother probably has your best interests at heart the only two people who can make this decision is you and your partner.
If you both feel that natural methods are the way to go then it’s your choice.
If your mother is one of the best and most famous ped then could you talk with her and thank her for her advice, tell her that you would like to continue with natural remedies for now and that if she would like to help then perhaps she could pay for a nanny (who shares your feelings) for a few hours during the day so that you could get some rest.
The tranquilizer is for you ya freakin’ fruitloop. Seriously though, it’s common to give a mother a tranquilizer when she’s nearing a meltdown. Some moms can’t sleep for days and some moms can’t sleep because their babies don’t sleep. Anyway here’s my advice to you. Go home and tell your husband that you’re not supposed to get out of bed so he’ll have to wait on you. Only get up to go to the bathroom. Nurse the baby, sleep, change the diapers, cuddle, sleep. It will be alright.
Well, don’t drug your baby first of all. She is, as you said, getting better and you seem very sensible in ignoring her.
If you feel as though you HAVE to go to your mother, and only your mother, then just take any advice from her with a grain a of salt. You have internet access, so you can find most information that you need there.
If you think something is really wrong with your baby and you don’t trust your mother’s medical opinion, you can always go to the ER and if your mum asks then just tell her it was an emergency and you didn’t want to wake her or that you tried to call and couldn’t get through. Or you can ask someone else in your family for a second opinion…just call them to chat and work any questions you have into the conversation. If they ask why you aren’t asking your mum for advice, just give an excuse like “oh I don’t want to worry her over nothing” or “she’s so busy at work, I don’t want to stress her out”
wow your situation sounds so hard …
i know its very difficult for you, but please bear in mind its also difficult for your mother to watch you struggling. There is an element that you are her baby, and she can see you in pain, and cant be there to help you with time – she must be getting frustrated at being unable to help.
Also theres always going to be an aspect of “mother knows best” about grandparents – so it must be hell to have her as a ped!!!
For her the only solution she can give is a practical one – drugs to help both you and the baby sleep. Colic is a horrible horrible condition, which can make a mother hate the baby – for a grandparent the baby is directly harming HER baby … theres no way your mother can be objective in this!
You mother is not a bad doctor – shes a wonderful mother. You should trust her medically as she has given you alsolutely no reason not to, but remember that she cant ever be a completely objective doctor. I would get a second opinion although I know its difficult… but you dont have to tell her!
I really feel for you … this must be such a difficult time for you and i know how hard a baby with colic can be. Its a horrible, terrible condition, and it completely shatters your prior conceptions and dreams of motherhood. Its physically painful for the baby, but mentally and emotionally hell for the mother.
I really hope you can find some answers – from a second doctor if needby. Try not to be hard on your mothers ability as a doctor – but remember that she never can or will be just a doctor – shes always going to be your mother first!
Reading thru your profile something seems odd here…
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnJKxLib5jH7aMScZCzNbT7sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090110053200AAZolPY&show=7#profile-info-HMj51QVhaa
my mom was staying with me, she got the flu and passed it on to my baby girl when she was only 2 weeks old..for the first day she was very very sick it was terrible and i stuck with the breastfeeding and the flu was gone in a couple of days exactly…my mom was sick for 2 weeks!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApSucMTCGvTX4ntVxM6uoifty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090105060213AAHGFqb
i read a paper that suggested that colicky babies gain weight faster than non colicky ones is that true?? i mentioned this to two doctors and they are both clueless…
Your mom’s a pediatrian and had the flu and still stayed at your house to help you with your newborn baby?
You say you can’t ask other doctors about your baby being colic?
i wouldnt give the baby this, but i dont think ur mum is a bad doctor just a worried mum and nanna
its all your call- as you are the mother here, and what you say goes!
but it is sometimes advised by health care providers to “sedate” a baby due to thier behaviors. My sister was born when i was 17 and i can remember her screaming constantly- she had reflux, and nothing helped. She was child number 6, so there was all of us kids plus my parents awake for up to nine hours a night listening to her scream, and nothing worked to calm her down.
She was presented to the emergency department on several occassions. After thorough exams we were always told there was nothing at all wrong with her. After a few visits to the emergeny room, the doctor suggested getting some sedation and giving it to her for a few reasons:- a good sleep would help the baby rest, and help the behaviour for the days following as she would be properly rested instead of being overtired from screaming all night, the rest of the family would be able to sleep, and our mother could have a break- as so many babies get hurt or thrown or shaken whilst they extremely tired and have a screaming child that cannot be calmed (not that i know anyone that would hurt their child), the doctors figure a lot of the time that a bit of sedation can prevent this, as no one can stand listening to the noise of a child scream for 10+ hours a day.
With that said, it was a ‘occassional’ thing. Not once a week, not once a month- when it was really really really really necessary.
I can understand why it is suggested- what some mothers have to deal with is horrible, and it is amazing how much better you can handle it all after a decent sleep.
I had a friend who was in the chemist with me when i was getting a script and the pharmacist heard us talking about her 16 hour car ride home with a 3 year old. The pharmacist sold her phenergan and told her to give it to her daughter before they left so she would sleep the whole way. This is the kind of thing it is used wrongly for!
But, dont let anyone push you into doing anything that you do not feel comfortable with. This is your baby, you are the mother, and if you are questioning doing it, then i’d say dont- cuz those remedies need only be used in extreme desperation, and a women in extremely desperate circumstances doesnt stop to ask questions. Keep doing what you are doing. Your little one will get better with age!!! Best of luck
i give my baby an antihistamine if i really need her to sleep so i can get some rest before work – fortunately i only work one day a week at present. it does work wonders but they get used to it and then it isnt as effective. i didnt start to do that till she was about 1 yr and for the last month or so havent used it at all and she seems fine – still wakes but goes back to slepp quicker than she did before. she is nearly 2 now.